A Ward of the Probate Court
Personal Stories From The First Edition
AT ABOUT the time of my graduation from high school, a state university
was established in our city. On the call for an office assistant, I was
recommended by my superintendent, and got the position. I was rather his
choice and pride, but a few years later, I met him in a nearby city and
"panhandled" him for two "bucks" for drinks.
I grew with this institution and advanced in position. I took a year off
for attendance at an engineering college. At college I refrained from any
hilarious celebrating or drinking.
War was declared. I was away from home on business at the State Capitol
where my mother couldn't raise objections and I enlisted. Overseas I was
on five fronts from Alsace up to the North Sea. Upon relief from the
lines-back in the rest-area, "vin rouge" and "cognac" helped in the let
down from trying circumstances. I was introduced to the exhilaration of
intoxication. The old spirit, "What the hell? Heinie may have you
tagged," didn't help toward any moderation in drinking then. We had many
casualties but one of the real catastrophes was the loss of a pal, a
lieutenant who died from the D.T.'s over there, after it was all over.
This didn't slow me up and back in the States I had a big fling before
returning home.
My plans were to cover up with my mother and the girl I was to marry,
that I had become addicted to alcohol. But I exposed the fact on the day
our engagement was announced. On the way I met a training camp buddy, got
drunk, and missed the party. Booze had got over its first real blow on
me. I saw her briefly that night but didn't have the guts to face her
people. The romance was over.
To forget, I engaged in a super-active life in social, fraternal, and
civic promotion in my community. This all outside my position in the
President's Office of the State University. I became a leader-the big
flash in the pan. I organized and was first commander of the American
Legion Post-raised funds and built a fine memorial Club House. Was
Secretary of Elks, Eagles, Chamber of Commerce, City Club, and active as
an operator and officer in political circles. I was always a good fellow
and controlled my drinking, indulging only in sprees in private clubs or
away from home.
I was deposed from the executive position at the college by a political
change in the governorship of the State. I knew the sales manager of the
Securities Division of a large Utility corporation in Wall Street, and
started out to sell securities. The issues and the market were good and I
had a fine opportunity. I was away from home and I began to drink
heavily. To get away from my drinking associates, I managed to be
transferred to another city, but this didn't help. Booze had me, my sales
and commissions diminished, I remained almost in a continuous stupor on
my drawing account until I was released.
I braced up, got sober, and made a good connection with a steamship
agency, a concern promoting European travel and study at most all
important universities in Europe. Those were the bath-tub gin days and
for drinking in and about my office, I held out in this position for only
a year.
I was now engaged to be married and fortunately I got another position as
salesman for a large corporation. I worked hard, was successful, and
drinking became periodical. I was married and my wife soon learned that I
was no social drinker. I tried hard to control it, but could not. There
were many separations and she would return home. I would make pledges and
a sincere effort and then my top would blow off again. I began here to
take sanitarium treatments to satisfy my wife and folks.
I had a great capacity for drink and work. With the help of turkish
baths, bromo-seltzer and aspirin, I held to the job. I became top-notcher
in the entire sales force of the country. I was assigned to more special
territory and finally into the market of keenest competition. I was top
rate in salary, won bonus awards and was bringing in the volume. But
there was always the drawback my excessive drinking made at times. I was
called in once, twice, and warned. Finally I wasn't to be tolerated any
longer, although I was doing a good job. I had lasted five and a half
years.
I lost my wife along with my job and fine income. This was a terrible
jolt. I tried for a hook-up, but I had a black eye marring a good record.
I became discouraged and depressed. I sought relief with booze. There
began the four black years of my life.
I had returned home to the community where I had been so prominent. these
were dry days still and I hung out at the clubs with bars. I got so I
would last on a job but a few days, just until I could get an advance for
drinks. I began to get entangled with the law-arrested for driving while
intoxicated and drunken and disorderly conduct.
My folks heard of the cure at the State Hospital. I was picked up drunk
and sent there by the Probate Court. I was administered paraldehyde and
came to in a receiving ward among lunatics. I was transferred to another
ward of less violent cases and I found a little group of alcoholics and
"junkers" (dope addicts). I learned from them the seriousness of being a
ward of the Probate Court. I felt then if I ever got released the old
devil alcohol would never get me in a jam like this again. In times of
great distress such as this, I would pray to God for help.
I was fortunate and was released after eleven days and nights barred up
in the laughing academy-"bug house." That was enough. I wanted no more of
it. I took a job as manager of a club and put myself to the old acid
test. I was really going to assert my will power. I even tended bar part
of the time, but never imbibed a bit. This lasted about three months.
I went to an annual convention of my overseas division and came to locked
up in a cheap hotel room, new shoes, suit coat, hat and purse missing. I
must have slipped badly.
Then followed much drinking and trouble. After a few arrests for
intoxication, the law decided another sojourn to the State Hospital would
tame me. They jumped the stay this time from eleven days to eleven weeks.
It was getting tough for me. I came out in good physical condition and
held a fear of getting probated again, thinking the siege might be eleven
months. I got another job and stayed dry for about two months and off to
the races again.
I became terribly weak-couldn't eat and tried to get nourishment from
booze and mostly only bootleg at that. One time, I just made it into a
hospital and another time a police patrol took me to the hospital instead
of the jail. I suffered badly from insomnia. As many as three shots in
the arm had no effect.
I would get in shape and back at it again. I was going to battle it to
the finish. The time came when I was to be paid my soldier's bonus. I had
the limit or maximum coming. Friends advised my folks to send me to a
Veterans Hospital before I got this money in my hands. I was probated
again, held in a county jail for two weeks and sent again to the asylum.
This was my summer resort for three months. I was on the waiting list for
the Veterans Hospital but I got into such wonderful physical condition
from eating and working our of doors that I was released.
I reached home full of resentment against my folks for their having my
money tied up under a guardianship. I went out and got saturated and
landed in jail-I had been free from the asylum door about eight hours.
Behind bars again so soon-this was bad. However, I was freed again next
day and this was my last confinement with the law. I began to use my
head, I continued to drink but kept under cover or hid in the "jungles"
with the bums.
In a few months an old friend came along. He located me a few times in
saloons. We had been drinking pals in the early days, particularly at the
club houses. He had heard of my predicament. He himself had quit drinking
and looked fine. He encouraged me to visit him in a nearby city.
I wanted to quit drinking, but hadn't much faith in ever getting away
from it. I agreed to go into a hospital as the patient of a doctor who
had been an alcoholic for many years and was now a new man.
It is almost uncanny-in just eight days I left there a different person.
This doctor in plain words was a wonderful guy-he spent many hours with
me telling me his experience with alcohol. Others of his band, which was
then small, visited me-told me their stories. They were all strangers to
me, but treated me as a friend. I was impressed with their interest and
fellowship. I learned the secret. They had a religious experience. I was
willing, and renewed my acquaintance with God and acknowledged Him as a
reality.
I found it easy. I cam to life and have been free now for many years. I
hope never to take another drink. I am building up a reputation again and
nearly every day am complimented on my appearance.
I have a new outlook on life. I look forward to each day with happiness
because the real enjoyment it is to me to be sane, sober, and
respectable. I was existing really from one drink until the next, with no
perception about circumstances, conditions, or even nature's elements. My
acquaintance with God-lost and forgotten when I was a young man-is
renewed. God is all-loving and all-forgiving. The memories of my past are
being dimmed by the life I now aspire to.
Contact:
The Legacy Group of Alcoholics Anonymous © 2005